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Wild boys always shine
Registered: Nov 2001
Posts: 5608 (0.65 al dì)
Location: lecco
Corso: F28
Anno: dottore
Time Online: 38 Days, 5:41:55 [...]
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[lol] Se Microsoft vendesse fotocamere
preso qui http://www.photosig.com/go/forums/read?id=220558
# ou would need a 1GB camera to take a 8MB picture.
# The resulting picture would be viewable in IE only.
# It would be Internet Ready, by that they mean vunerable.
# It would be the first camera to need Anti Virus software.
# A copy of Excel and Word would be included in the firmware.
# SP1 would be out the day after you bought it.
# SP2 would follow a few years later, and effectively break the camera!
and there's be an Easter Egg of a flight simulator to play on the LCD screen.
Every time a new subject appeared you would need to upgrade your camera
Apple would make a memory card five times as big for half the price, but it would only work in 5% of cameras
It would ask "are you sure?" every time you pressed the shutter button
Every so often the aperture ring would stick. The solution would be to turn off the camera, remove the lens, rotate it, and reattach it. For unknown reasons everyone would just accept it.
- The first thing you would see in your viewfinder: "404 error"
- You'd have to push "Power-Menu-Shutter" at the same time to reboot.
- Long exposures would time out.
- Apple's camera would be better, but nobody would buy it.
...people would start getting harassing phone calls asking if their camera's licensing is up to date.
...basic necessities would be omitted because Microsoft didn't think users needed them. For example, you'd have to install a stack update to get Aperture Priority AE.
...their PR department would rename everything. MS camera bodies would now be called "Personal Image Server". LCD Screens would be called "Heads-Up Displays".
...everything would be called Plug-n-Play, but it would all require half an hour of installation before it would work.
...changing lenses would require a complete shutdown and reboot.
...photos would be stored in the camera as Bitmaps.
...occasionally, for no apparent reason, the camera would just shut down while you're using it.
...Netmeeting and FrontPage would be included in the box.
...you'd have to agree to an on-screen license before you could use the camera.
...the first time you powered it on, it would ask for a 25-digit installation key using alphanumeric numbers that you had to enter one at a time with only the directional key on the back of the camera.
...right at the decisive moment, just when you're about to press the shutter release, the camera would freeze up for a second while a dancing paper clip appeared on the LCD saying "It looks like you're about to shoot a landscape. Would you like to: a)shoot with the light? b)shoot against the light? c)use sidelighting? d)try something else?" By the time you figure out how to get that paper clip off the screen, you will have missed the priceless moment you were about to capture.
Cameras would only shoot in a newly developed mRGB color space (Microsoft RGB).
A special video driver and a new version of DirectX would have to be installed on your PC in order to view the photos.
This new version of DirectX would, of course, be incompatable with Photoshop CS, requiring both an update to Photoshop and the installation of Windows XP SP3.
The camera would have a host of online photo sharing options, utilizing ActiveX controls. That would bring on endless security updates to plug the holes in the camera's OS.
Speaking of the OS, the camera would be running the new WindowsImaging OS. It needs a 6GB compact flash card just for the operating system, and takes 3 minutes to boot up. You have to click through 8 dialog boxes to turn it off.
For some inexplicable reason, each high resolution 8 megapixel JPG takes up 150MB of storage space.
There will be a hidden "index.dat" file that stores information about everything you've ever done with the camera.
-you'd have to wait 5 minutes while the camera powers on and runs through several log on screens.
-security patches would need to be downloaded every week.
-microsoft would make 40,000 cameras....but somehow 120,000 people are using it...(think about it--hehe)
-the screen savers that appear on the lcd screen, would be better than the photos you are taking.
-all your photos come back framed in a window...yeah, i'm stretching on this one.
-they would brag about how their camera comes pre-packaged with editing software....ms paint.
-you would be able to remotely take photos with other peoples cameras...with their permission of course.
# The camera would run slower and slower, forcing you to delete all the photos and reinstall the firmware every few days.
# MS would 'reinvent' all the image standards like tif and jpg, making everything incompatible, including photos taken with the last version.
# You'd have to install software that used up half your memory card
# MS would get most of the original technology off Canon under a partnership deal, then refuse to pay for the technolgy, then sue them for exclusive use of the technology which MS had a partnership in. When Canon collapses under the weight of the multi-billion dollar law suits, MS would buy what was left for peanuts and claim they invented it in the first place.
# A copy of Windows 'Picture and Fax Viewer' would be included in the firmware, and would be the only way to see images on the LCD. Not only this, but it would have some basic incompatibility with the Canon/MS display technology, and it would take them 7 years to achnowledge or fix the problem
# Every time the technology got better and faster the OS would get more resource hungry. Eventually the microprocessors would be running at 10GHz but the startup time would be 10 minutes. When you pressed the shutter button you'd get the wait symbol while the operating system generated 5 new folders, and would randomly store the images in various folders depending on the date and the file size.
# After 10 years of marketing hype most users would have forgotten that Canon existed, would believe that MS gave the world the camera, and would wonder what all the geeks were getting so upset about.
85% of your LCD would be dedicated to toolbars.
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